New vocab

Now if one of my friends went off to live in England for six months or longer, I would definitely be suspicious about his/her speech patterns after s/he returned.    I would be on the watch for any foreign mannerisms.  I would consider it my personal responsibility to hunt these affectations down and destroy them, not unlike a macrophage from my friend’s own immune system.  Because nothing makes you look more like a prat than bringing home a bunch of poncey slang and naf pronunciation from London, yeah?

That said here is some of my favorite and least favorite new vocab, totally jumbled together in no particular order:

Mufty (MUF-tee) – Appearance/clothing other than your uniform.  e.g. “Brilliant to see you in your mufty, love!”  Like the apocryphal cliche of the eskimos and their hundreds of words for snow–linguistic necessity being the mother of linguistic invention, in other words–I have to marvel at a culture having such a surfeit of uniforms that they need a single word that captures the concept of not-a-uniform.

Bung / Whack – To place, put, throw, turn, dial,  insert.  e.g. “Just bung that Treacle Tart  in the oven and whack it up to 200 degrees.”

Moany (MO-nee) – Whiney.  e.g. my butcher brother D, after turning up 30 minutes late, taking a “fag break” two minutes into his shift, coming back from his smoke and spilling water on my jacket and insulting my butchering skills just before labeling my ass fat, prompting me to tell him to fuck off: “God you’re so moany, Laurel”

Twat (TWAT) – Vagina of course, which is the same as in America, but the word is exercised with such variety and genius and depth of feeling here in the UK, such as I have never before experienced.

Cunt (KUNT) – See “Twat”

Slag – noun, Slut or verb, to Slack.  e.g. Upon D learning that the cheese-girl he fancied already had a boyfriend:  “Slag.”  Upon D learning that I went to the bathroom:  “Slagging off again, I see.”

Swede – Rutabaga.


1 Comment

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One response to “New vocab

  1. Anonymous

    Mufti, apparently, is Arabic in origin.

    I love you, Laurel. Glad to see you’ve updated!

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